Share the cooking and the fun for a simple, affordable party

I have a large sign that reads “Keep it Simple” hanging above my kitchen door. More than kitschy art, it is a valuable reminder for me, a woman who has a history of making things far more complicated than they need to be. This is particularly the case when it comes to entertaining.

Even in college, I made elaborate meals for my friends. One year, I made a honey-glazed smoked turkey studded with golden pecans, a sweet potato soufflé, and bourbon cream pumpkin cheesecake. The fact that I remember precisely what I made for Thanksgiving 15 years ago speaks volumes about my sometimes over-the-top entertaining personality. (I also remember my horror when one of my guests literally flicked all my perfectly-placed pecans off the turkey before he started carving it.)

I probably spent more than a week’s wages and hours of prep time on that meal. While I may not be serving pecan-studded smoked turkeys these days with my four children underfoot, there are plenty of ways I can entertain without being tied to my kitchen or busting our already-slim food budget. These ideas for entertaining can satisfy my desire to be among friends, while helping me live up to my “keep it simple” mantra.

Revive the Progressive Dinner. This is a fabulous way of hosting a party. You get all the benefits of a true dinner party with fraction of the work and expense. Round up enough friends willing to host part of a meal at their home—drinks and appetizers to start, followed by salad at another home, a main course at a third location, and top the evening off with dessert at the last home.

Host a Punched-Up Potluck. Determine an international theme—Mexican, French, Chinese—and encourage guests to bring dishes reflecting that country’s cuisine. Or draw on a favorite film to create a memorable evening: all things chocolate for “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” bruschetta, artichokes in Hollandaise sauce, and chocolate cream pie for watching “Julie and Julia,” a green salad, a variety of cheeses, fresh fruit, and champagne to mimic the fare in “Babette’s Feast.” Screen the theme-inspiring film after dinner.

Set up a Buffet. Elevate simple, well-liked foods—such as baked potatoes, pizza, pancakes, hot dogs, ice cream, omelets, or tacos—by asking guests to bring complimentary toppings. Chili, caramelized onions, sauerkraut, an assortment of mustards, shredded cheese, tomato wedges, pickle spears, chutney, and spaghetti sauce are all options to round out a hot dog buffet, for example. To ensure a wide variety, you may want to assign a specific topping to each guest.

Plan an Activity. Serve satisfying one-dish meals appropriate for the season: baked macaroni and cheese or potato soup are perfect for a fall or winter soiree, for instance. Then plan an activity to get guests engaged with one another. Try pumpkin carving, setting up a game of lawn darts or bocce ball, roasting marshmallows in the backyard fire pit, playing board games, or showing an outdoor movie, using a projector and a large, white sheet.

Hosting a potluck-style party gives you a chance to indulge your love of entertaining and also gives your guests a chance to shine. Encourage them to bring the dishes they especially enjoy preparing. Ask one friend to make her famous salsa as an appetizer, for instance, and another to bake his luscious brownies for dessert.

These budget-friendly parties are simple to host because most of the preparation can be done in advance. That leaves you more time to relax and enjoy your guests – and, simple or fancy, that’s the point of a great party.

Investing in yourself pays off in fulfillment, satisfaction

I never realized how precious time was until I had children. For instance, where I once showered with leisure, I now consider it a good day if I can make it through a shower without someone pounding on the door or trying to peel back the curtain while I’m shaving my legs. In fact, some days even getting a shower is a triumph.

From the moment I wake up, someone, somehow, is demanding my attention. Our needy basset hound wants a drink, or to go outside, or to come inside. Meanwhile, a child wants a snack, a piece of gum, a tissue, a puzzle, a pencil sharpened—the list is seemingly endless.

It can be easy to live by what a friend calls “the tyranny of what has to be done.” Bills need to be paid, laundry done, dinner served, bathtubs scrubbed, checkbooks balanced, whether you’re like me with small children, or in any other season of life.

In truth, time is a lot like money. If you don’t have a plan for how you want to use it, you can easily end up squandering it. Or at the very least, you can misallocate it, spending it in ways that ultimately bring more frustration than satisfaction.

By carving out time for activities that make your life better, you lay the groundwork for increased happiness and a greater sense of fulfillment. You won’t be so apt to get bogged down in all of life’s have-tos. In other words, deciding on specific ways to use your time allows you opportunities to invest in yourself. And in so doing, you capitalize on your best asset: you.

Take a few minutes and consider how you are using your time right now. Are you happy with the tenor of your days? If not, what can you do differently to budget your time more effectively? What do you like best about your days? What do you like least? What would you like more than anything else to accomplish?

Once you’ve decided what you want, then you can look for ways to free up time to do it. A friend buying a new house, for instance, has decided he won’t get cable when he moves. He wants to invest the time he used to spend watching television on taking MBA classes. He’ll also be able to use the money he saves to help pay for his education.

To help me make better use of my time and focus on ways I can invest in myself, I made a list of 36 things I want to do before I turn 36. The list runs the gamut from reading Anna Karenina to learning better photography skills, to making time to go dancing, to cleaning out and organizing my freezer. Some activities on my list, such as tackling the freezer, will pay dividends in the future. An organized freezer leaves me more room for make-ahead meals, which frees me up to enjoy the company of my family in the evening, instead of scurrying to get dinner on the table.

It took some effort to make the list, but I’m already reordering my days to accomplish what I want to do. I’ve replaced the usual stack of design magazines on my side table with a hulking copy of Anna Karenina, and I’ve started using up the 10 pounds of rhubarb in my freezer to make way for this year’s harvest. And finishing each item on this to-do list will be a pleasure. I’ll be richer for the skills I’ve learned, books I’ve lingered over, and moments I’ve taken to simply enjoy life.

Summer’s budget-friendly wish list leaves warm memories

We’re still plugging away on our Summer Manifesto, the list our family made at the beginning of the summer that detailed what we wanted to accomplish during these fleeting days. I’m amazed by how the list shaped our days and helped us make priorities. I’m even more in awe of how this simple list gave us such a sense of joy and anticipation.
When I poked the tiny zinnia seeds in the garden this year, for example, I had my daughter alongside me, already talking about how we would pick the vibrant blooms and put them in a vase on her dresser. I always like to watch the garden grow and change, but this year we eagerly awaited the seedlings and watched as the buds turned into waves of riotous color: magenta and blazing orange, fire-engine red and dusty pink.
Before “pick zinnias” made it onto our list, I hesitated to pluck them from the garden because I never wanted to leave a gap in my flower beds. But this year, we have zinnias everywhere, including my bedside table and my daughter’s dresser. Even my boys wanted to pick their own flowers to have in their room. One small packet of seeds, costing just a few dollars, has brought the best kind of satisfaction.
Though the boys caught the enthusiasm of garden zinnias, they were even more tickled with the idea of a family squirt gun fight. When we were writing the list, my oldest son’s initial request was for “a war, with water and guns,” which I recall him saying ever so slowly and methodically. To fulfill this request, we picked up five guns in a single package for $5 and took them on one of our camping trips. When we busted out the guns, there were squeals of delight all around.
The duel went on for over an hour, while we dipped our guns in the river, bobbed and weaved, ran and giggled. It got even more interesting when my husband’s father brought out a pump-action squirt gun with a crazy, powerful spray. In fact, after having seen our manifesto posted on the mudroom wall, my in-laws brought kites along, too, to help us fulfill another item on our list. Luckily, they came across high quality kites that a teacher friend no longer wanted. It was fun to see other people become so invested in our summer goals.
We still have to squeeze in making red popsicles and pitching a tent in the backyard, having an outdoor tea party and going on a picnic with balloons before the last days of summer get away from us. The children behind these requests haven’t forgotten a thing on the list.
However, even if it turns out that we miss something, we know we have been able to savor the best of the season. It has occurred to us that there are just as many ways that we’d like to celebrate fall, so we’ll be making a new list soon. I already have a few contributions in mind that I’ll be certain to include in our Fall Manifesto.
These include making a pumpkin pie from scratch with the small golden fruit in our garden, jumping in a pile of leaves, visiting an apple orchard, and celebrating the first snow of the season with candy bar hot chocolate and popcorn.
What this manifesto-making has reminded me is that we can find pleasure and contentment in the simplest of things. With a little brainstorming, a piece of poster board, and permanent marker, we’re bound to continue making little moments into lasting memories.

Feeling deprived isn’t part of our budget plan

I’m surprised by my naiveté. When I declared that we were taking a serious look at our food budget and attempting to cut it in half, I thought the decision was largely a dollars-and-cents issue. We reasoned that we’re spending more than we wanted, so we just needed to cut back.
The situation is far more complicated than I first thought. In the last few days before I went shopping again, breakfast was utter chaos. Our three oldest children were so frustrated that we had run out of our customary breakfast fare that they were all crying. Honestly, I felt out of sorts too, grumbling to myself when I was out of coffee and half and half, and feeling crabby when I had to field questions about what we were having for dinner.
I didn’t realize how much we depend on the familiarity and convenience of certain foods. When we ran out of yogurt and didn’t have the kind of cheese we like, for example, we felt deprived. Those feelings of deprivation mean that the pendulum of our food budget adjustments has swung too far the other way.
While we don’t want to spend thoughtlessly on food, we don’t want to be slaves to our budget, either. We want to be as intentional with our food dollars as we are with other parts of our budget. We still want to shop and eat in ways that leave us feeling happy and nourished.
As my husband and I discussed our budget for the coming month, we talked about the parts of our plan we need to revise. But our cost-cutting food plan also has benefits that we like. First, we both agreed that we were glad we raised our budget consciousness and learned that it’s possible to scale back what we spend. Now, we can adjust our food budget so we have more freedom to buy what we enjoy, but not so much flexibility that we return to our old ways. For now, we’re increasing our bi-weekly budget from $150 to $200.
Second, we want to continue using the cash-only approach to eating out. Having a specific parameter in place makes meals out an event we can look forward to, not just a budget-gobbling habit. Though we blew our eating out budget the first week, we stuck to our plan and spent only what we had set aside. When we went out to eat at the start of another two weeks, the opportunity excited us.
Third, we both appreciated how some upfront meal preparation paid off over the following two weeks. I bought hamburger in bulk (at a phenomenal price) and made spaghetti sauce, meatballs, sloppy joes, and taco meat all at the same time. I froze the meals in family-size portions, so we could pull out what we needed the night before and spend just a few minutes boiling noodles, grating cheese, or making a quick side dish to get dinner on the table.
Finally, we want to revisit our list of goals – such as buying a woodstove – that prompted us to trim our food budget, and we’ll create a more specific plan to accomplish them. If we’re going to continue making changes in the way we spend our food dollars, we need to see tangible benefits. Right now, we’ll take the money we’re saving and transfer it into an account we’ve earmarked for our goals.
Even with a few bumps along the way, budgeting can work. We’ll keep adjusting our budget until we find a balance that lets us save money while shopping wisely and eating well.

Use frugality to fund your goals

For all my frugality, I still have an Achilles’ heel, a small but significant point of budget vulnerability. Ironically, thrift stores, those bastions of economy, sometimes threaten to sabotage my well-laid plans.
The notion of a beautiful lamp, just waiting to be unearthed, a vintage cashmere cardigan lurking in between polyester blouses, the possibility of finding retro tumblers for our 1978 pop-up camper literally quickens my pulse when I walk in my favorite shops. But when my husband recently suggested I create a thrift store fund, I realized it’s time to rethink those frequent forays.
His suggestion reminds me that frugality isn’t an end, but a means. In other words, it doesn’t matter how much money I save on a pair of thrifted designer shoes, if buying them is keeping me from reaching my goals. I can string together as many frugal practices as I can conjure up, but this misses the point of living with thrift.
Frugality for frugality’s sake can make you feel like Sisyphus, the king in Greek mythology who was forced to spend eternity pushing a giant boulder to the top of a hill, only to watch it roll back down again. If sticking to a budget (or the very idea of starting one) feels like drudgery, or even a punishment, it’s time to see your budget through new eyes.
Using frugal practices as a way to get what you want is empowering, even exhilarating. It’s packing your lunch, not as a way of denying yourself the pleasure of a meal out with friends or coworkers, but as a means to use the money you would have otherwise spent to take your dream cruise to Alaska. It’s kicking the habit of buying new books in favor of borrowing titles from the library so you can buy a new sewing machine or jigsaw.
Without something to motivate you, your budget can become a giant stone in your life. One way to nudge that stone from its place is to write down five things that you love. Don’t censor yourself while you’re making your list—just write.
Maybe travel or music makes you feel fully alive. Perhaps it’s the notion of living by the water someday or opening a business that excites you. Photography, crafting something with your hands, horses, writing your memoir, finally getting all of your family together, being debt free—whatever stirs within you—write it on your list.
Next, choose something from your list and begin thinking about ways you could indulge this passion. If it’s photography, could you use your favorite photograph to make a canvas print for your dining room? Or what about getting a new camera or taking a photography class to sharpen your skills?
When you settle on a way to tap into your passion, estimate how much it will cost. Say you want to make a 20-by-20 inch print of the starfish you snapped at the beach, which you find will cost around $100. Now ask yourself how you can adjust your budget to save the money you’ll need.
You can use coupons when you shop for groceries and stash the money you save. You can calculate what you spend on eating out each month, cut that amount in half, and squirrel away the savings. Funnel all your change into a jar, or be more adventurous, and color your own hair instead of going to the salon.
Whatever cost-saving measure you take, be diligent to use the money to help you reach your goals. The lesson for me in all of this is to be frugal, but always with purpose.