Create the life you want by making some simple changes

When we added children to our family, I dubbed the time between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. the “witching hours.” During this window of time, our children often become restless and whiny. They’re more prone to fighting, and we’ve had several incidents in which one of them decides to ride the dog or invent new uses for their art supplies.

There may be variations in this “witching hour” scenario—someone starts an empty washer by randomly pushing buttons or systematically drops a bunch of Goldfish Crackers down the heat register—but the end result is the same. Those pre-dinner hours are almost always stressful and frustrating.

As I scramble to decide what we’re going to eat and to start the meal preparation, the house threatens to erupt into anarchy. In the midst of this, I wonder why I don’t give more attention to meal planning. In fact, creating a comprehensive meal plan tops my list of things I could do to make my life better.

Sometimes, when we’re so busy with our daily lives, we might believe that sweeping change is necessary to make our lives better. We might think, for example, that moving to a bigger house would make life easier, but the simpler (and perhaps better) change might be to downsize the amount of items we own. It’s often the smaller, more immediate changes we make that have the most power to improve the quality of our lives.

For me, devoting an hour each week to meal planning would help to restore some of my sanity and to diffuse the evening chaos. When I asked other people what they could do right now to make their lives better, they responded with equally simple changes they would like to make.

In a few cases, people reported that a single event would make their lives better, such as organizing their living space or creating a realistic plan for paying off debt. More often, those I talked to said that consistent changes over time would benefit them the most.

Several people told me that they believed carving out more time for reading would improve their lives. Some said committing to regular exercise would make them happier, and one person told me having more focused time with his children would make him feel more satisfied when he is at home. Eating a more balanced diet topped the list for several people, and a few mentioned getting more sleep. And some, like me, said better meal planning would make them happier.

Significantly, none of the people I talked to mentioned any material possessions that would make their lives better. In fact, most of the changes people wanted to make had nothing to do with money or possessions. The more I talked to people, the clearer it became that we don’t necessarily need bigger paychecks, expensive belongings, or major life overhauls to lead more satisfying lives. What we need instead is to take smaller, more deliberate steps to create the lives we desire.

Being reminded of this inspires me to take the small step of planning meals. My meal plans may not spell out specific menus, but they could list items we have in the house that we could eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Whether meal preparation that day falls to my husband or to me, a general plan will ease the decisions about what to eat. By planning ahead, my grocery shopping could become more streamlined, as well.

What small, deliberate step could you make? Start today, and you’ll be on your way to the satisfying life you truly want.

Traveling light saves money, hassle and stress

The last time I was on an airplane, I was traveling with three small children, which necessitated bringing two umbrella strollers, three car seats, and a suitcase full of things like onesies, bibs, sippy cups, diaper rash cream and baby spoons. By the time we reached our destination, I felt like a beleaguered pack mule.

On my upcoming vacation, I’m planning on a much more relaxing flight (reading or watching an in-flight movie, instead of passing out stickers and lollipops for three hours) and I’m only packing what fits in a single carry-on.

I’m getting ready for the first vacation my husband and I have taken alone in nine years. The last thing I want is to be bogged down with too much stuff. By packing light, I won’t be subject to airline baggage fees ($25 per checked item), and I can bypass the check-in counter and the baggage claim carousel, saving myself extra time and hassle. Plus, I’ll be certain to arrive at my destination with my luggage in tow—no lost or delayed bags.

What’s more, by limiting myself to a single carry-on, I will only be able to pack the essentials. This means I won’t be lugging around dead weight (like three extra pairs of shoes), and I won’t need the assistance of a skycap or a bell hop (and therefore I won’t need extra cash for tipping).

While there are plenty of reasons to pack light, it does require extra thought and planning. Travel experts assert that one of the reasons many people overpack is because they fear the unknown. These unknowns become “what ifs.” And ultimately, those “what ifs” result in travelers bringing too much stuff—the proverbial “bringing everything but the kitchen sink.”

Travel often comes with a few hiccups, but minimizing the unknown is one way to help you travel light. To prepare for our upcoming trip, I first got a handle on the type of weather we can expect, and I downloaded a few sample packing lists from fellow travelers. This general information will help me get a more specific idea what I should, or shouldn’t, bring.

I’ve also made sure to review the Transportation Security Administration’s rules on what I can pack in my carry-on, specifically as it relates to liquid and gel limitations. Accordingly, I stocked up on 3-ounce travel bottles and bought trial-size versions of products I commonly use. Having to replace an oversized item that gets confiscated, such as a pricey facial cleanser, could end up being more expensive than simply checking a bag in the first place.

Learning the airline’s carry-on size limitations is another way to minimize unexpected expenses. If it turned out that my bag didn’t meet the airline’s requirements, I would be required to check it and pay a higher fee than if I had prepaid the baggage fee.

Finally, I plan to use a few savvy packing strategies. One of these strategies will be to pack clothing in two colors; I’ll be able to wear those items interchangeably and create several outfits from just a few key pieces. And since the weather is likely to be very warm when we arrive at our destination, I’ll pack light, wrinkle-free separates, because the last thing I want to do on vacation is be uncomfortable (or have to iron).

With a little advance planning, you can pack a small suitcase that holds everything you need—and nothing more. In the process, you’ll save money and will be able to focus on the most important aspect of a vacation, which is to simply relax.

Preparedness eases stress when the unexpected strikes

A few weeks ago, I awoke at 5 a.m. to a peculiar humming sound. I trundled out of bed to investigate, but I already knew that something was amiss. The sound was caused by a problem with our water system; our cistern wasn’t filling, and we had no water.

While I waited for a reasonable hour to call for help, I contemplated making my morning coffee. Without running water, the small carafe of water in the refrigerator became precious, and so did the notion of being able to flush the toilet.

Thankfully, I had a couple of five-gallon containers of water stored in our crawlspace. They became necessary for preparing meals and for priming our pump when the water was finally restored. Being without water for half a day was a minor inconvenience, but having a source on hand eased the frustration of not being able to use the faucet.

The situation reminded me how important it is to be prepared for the unexpected. Preparedness isn’t needless worry or frenzied stockpiling; it acknowledges that disruptions in normal services can and do happen. A little bit of advanced planning can reduce the stress and discomfort of these disruptions and can make it easier to cope with unusual circumstances.

When you make preparedness a habit, instead of a reaction to bad news, you can make sensible choices that can protect you in case of a disaster. You can also keep your budget intact when you gather supplies over time, and when they are readily available.

The most successful way to build a preparedness plan is to start with a few small goals. I suggest you start by creating a simple communication plan. Knowing the answers to a few key questions can help you make contact with your family following a disaster.

In the event that you cannot contact your family after a disaster, have a plan in place to meet at a specific location. Where will you meet if you cannot go home? Who will pick up the kids if you are faced with an emergency? If your children are old enough to be left alone, what should they do if they are separated from you?

Once you have a plan to ensure you know how to find one another, a good second step for preparedness is to create a financial binder. By gathering your most important personal and financial documents, you have a set of data that can help you restore order following a disaster.

Next, consider how you will ensure that you have enough food and water if you aren’t able to get to a store or if supply chains are disrupted. The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) advises that individuals and families should have enough food and water to last a minimum of 72 hours.

FEMA recommends that you store at least one gallon of water per person per day. For our family of six, this means that we should have 18 gallons of potable water on hand. As for food, what you store will depend on your family size and any specialized needs you may have. If you have an infant, or any dietary restrictions, then you should plan accordingly. If you have pets, they will need food and water, as well.

A well-stocked first aid kit, flashlights and batteries, a basic toolkit, a hand-crank radio, and weather-appropriate clothing for everyone in your household are other essentials you should have readily available.

Disasters and disruptions are never easy, but being prepared can relieve some stress until life returns to normal.

Careful planning creates a more carefree vacation

Planning a vacation on a budget for two adults and four kids ages 6, 5, 3 and 1 is no easy feat, but it’s an endeavor my husband and I recently undertook. With or without small children, travel is often expensive and complicated.

One way to minimize expenses and keep complications at bay is to plan your vacation with a clear purpose in mind. What are your main priorities? How do you want your getaway to feel? Adventurous? Relaxing? How much are you willing to spend to achieve those priorities? Your answers will help to ensure that you make the most of your vacation.

In the case of our family, our upcoming trip is to celebrate my in-laws and their 40 years of marriage. Accordingly, we determined that our vacation priority was to spend time in a relaxing atmosphere, doing activities that we could enjoy together as family.

Determining our purpose was the easy part. It was a little trickier planning a vacation that would suit our budget and our small children. We knew our destination had to be family-friendly, and that we wanted to avoid harried airport transfers and rental car desks. Those guidelines narrowed our search tremendously.

We also needed to consider how luggage fees would influence the overall price of our trip. After all, we’re still toting things like diapers, sippy cups and ear thermometers, so we knew we wouldn’t be able to skate by with carry-ons, even for a short getaway. With the cost of one checked bag coming in near $40, we decided that we’ll be packing lighter than usual.

Once we had a destination in mind, we started looking for a hotel that could accommodate us. After searching multiple sites and comparing room rates, we found a two-bedroom suite—with a full kitchen—for $160 a night. (The suite sleeps eight, so we’ll be splitting the cost with my husband’s parents.) The hotel is outside the most popular part of our destination city, but it still has plenty of amenities. And with a full kitchen, we’ll be able to save money by preparing some meals in our suite.

While we were trying to decide if this suite was the right choice, the price increased from $160 to $195 a night. The increase wasn’t a deal breaker, but it was disappointing, nevertheless. We did learn a valuable travel lesson, though. If you find a deal that fits your budget, it’s best to book it, rather than hope that the price might go down.

Now that we have booked our hotel suite and paid for our tickets, we have turned our focus to planning our trip activities. We’re planning a loose itinerary that sketches out some specific places that we’d like to visit and restaurants where we’d like to dine. We won’t be scheduling every waking moment, but we’ll use our itinerary to help us anticipate expenses and to ensure that we’re making the most of our getaway. Of course, we’ll include plenty of downtime in our plan, too.

In the end, we plan to spend a total of $1,500 for a resort-style vacation for our family of six. While our vacation is an investment, we feel it’s one worth saving for. We’ll build precious memories as a family and enjoy a respite from our everyday routine.

As the summer months approach, I encourage you to consider your vacation priorities. Thinking about your vacation and carefully considering what activities you hope to do will help keep your budget intact. It’s much easier to return home feeling relaxed when you know your vacation is already paid for.

Investing in good kitchen tools has some delicious rewards

As a child, I remember restaurant pizza being expensive and a rare treat for my family. Store-bought pizza was pricey, too, and it didn’t taste that good. And then there was the homemade variety: hamburger pizza made on a giant, blackened cookie sheet and always a little too doughy for my taste.

These days, it’s easy to get a decent pizza at a reasonable price, but I’ve found it more difficult to prepare pizza at home that excites my family— in the same ways that store-bought or restaurant pizza might, at least. In fact, until quite recently, I’ve had moments of “homemade pizza anxiety,” because my pizza doesn’t behave precisely as it should. It sticks to the pan, or won’t slide onto the pan, gets too puffy, or browns too quickly on top, leaving me with the kind of too-doughy crust I don’t like.

Convinced that pizza should never make me crabby, I decided to invest in some tools that will help me make truly good pizzas at home. First, I bought two baking stones and some cornmeal. The idea is that you preheat the baking stones to 500 degrees; then slide the prepared pizzas onto them. The stone meeting the crust is supposed to be a little bit of magic—that is, if you can manage to slide a 12-inch pizza onto a crazy hot piece of ceramic.

As you might have guessed, this process did not work as well as I hoped. I tried sliding the pizza from the back of a cookie sheet onto the hot stones, and I also tried not preheating the stones as suggested. More than once, I dropped my pizza on the oven rack or sent a shower of cornmeal into the bottom of my stove, or ended up with subpar pizza.

My mother, having observed—and sympathized—with my frustration, gave me what is known as pizza peel, the flat shovel-like object used in pizzerias. The result has been nothing short of a miracle, as it relates to the quality of pizza we’re eating. This homemade pizza is better (and far cheaper) than what we can eat out or buy at the store. Plus, we’re happily trying different kinds of toppings: spinach and goat cheese, caramelized onion and fresh mozzarella, and chicken apple sausage with feta.

The lesson, as it relates to finances, is that it pays to invest in good-quality kitchen tools that you will actually use. I got my pizza stones on sale for $10 each, and I’m guessing that the cost of the pizza peel was about $20. With $40 worth of appropriate tools, I can make meals that fit our budget and our lifestyle.

On the other hand, a kitchen full of unused—even wacky—gadgets is money sitting on your shelves. This means that as interesting as an automatic peppermill with a light might be (yes, such a product does exist), if you don’t need to light up your salad while you’re grinding pepper on it, then you shouldn’t buy it.

The only way to know what tools you need is to be honest about how you use your kitchen. Start with a kitchen inventory and pull out anything you haven’t used in more than a year; sell or donate those items. Then, consider which tools you believe indispensable to the way you live. For our family who eats pizza at least once a week, we’ve already gotten our money’s worth out of the pizza-making equipment. Over time, we’ll save ourselves hundreds of dollars we might have spent buying pizza, without depriving ourselves of the pleasure of a dinnertime favorite.

A family mission statement will help us shape our future

When my husband and I recently took a small “life inventory,” we reflected on what went well during 2010. We also began identifying areas in our lives that we wanted to improve. For example, we acknowledged that we want to spend less time on the computer and more time engaging in focused activities that improve our relationship with each other and with our children.

In order to use what we learned from our “life inventory” and to define a clearer vision for our family, we decided to write a family mission statement. On a practical level, our statement will become a decision-making tool that helps us learn when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” More than that, it will define the kind of family we want to be.

To get started, my husband and I each answered a list of 20 questions that helped us to define our strengths, our priorities, and our desires for our family’s future. (Such lists are easily accessed online with a quick search using the words “family mission statement.”) The list included questions such as “What is the purpose of our family?” “What would we like people to say about our family as a whole 10 years from now?” “What is one way we are unique as a family?” “If our family could be filled with one emotion, what would it be?”

Working through the questions took a significant amount of time, particularly when we had to define what we want our lives to look like in the future. It forced us to think about how our lives will be different with a house full of teenagers, instead of one filled with preschoolers and toddlers. At one point, my husband paused and said, “This is hard. I keep realizing that I’m writing down one thing and that I’m living in an entirely different way.” I felt much the same way; writing down what I wanted made me think about the disconnect between how things are and how I want them to be.

Next, my husband and I shared our answers with one another. On the plus side, we immediately began to see some common themes emerge. For instance, we each defined similar strengths for ourselves and for each other. We also had similar answers to questions about how we want people to describe our home environment and the top four priorities we want our family to value.

Unfortunately, there was a downside, too. As we started talking more in-depth about our answers, our emotions flared up. The questions themselves were deeply personal, and we both felt fiercely attached to our responses, even a little vulnerable. We agreed that we wanted to let our emotions mellow a bit for now; we’ll return to the process of writing our family mission statement in January.

When we’re ready to begin again, our next step will be to take what we learned about each other and ourselves to shape a comprehensive statement about how we want to spend our time and our money. We’ll revisit the common themes that emerged, and we’ll start to write a mission statement that reflects who we are and who we want to be as a family.

At any stage of life, a mission statement can help you focus on what you really want. If, as you start a new year, you’re feeling like life isn’t what you want it to be, consider creating a mission statement for yourself or your family. It requires an investment of time and emotion, but the result could help you positively reshape your life and your family for years to come.

A simple life inventory can help you live well in 2011

Some time ago, we dubbed life in our busy household “blissful chaos,” with emphasis on the “chaos.” It’s sometimes so chaotic, in fact, that my husband and I can do nothing more than laugh and fall into bed at night, exhausted. In the midst of all the busyness, it can be tough to move beyond what often feels like a series of small crises (like having to fish a Matchbox car out of the toilet or a pebble from someone’s nose).

Even as our children get older, we’ll trade one kind of busyness for another. We’ll swap diapers and toddler beds for things like dance classes and T-ball. We recognize that the pace of our lives isn’t likely to slow down.

Nevertheless, we agree that we don’t want to get swept up in busyness for its own sake. Instead, we want to know that we’re using our time and money with purpose and intention. That’s why we decided to take a small “life inventory” of 2010, asking ourselves questions that include, “What specific activities brought us the most and least joy this year?” “What were our greatest financial successes and missteps?”

Focusing our time with our summer activity list helped us to squeeze in lots of simple pleasures that we might not have otherwise experienced. We flew kites and had a squirt gun fight, roasted marshmallows in our backyard fire pit and built sandcastles. On the other hand, my husband and I both agree that we spent far too much time on the computer this year and wasted precious energy trying to keep the house picked up during the day when we’re home with the kids. On both accounts, we’d rather be investing in the lives of our children and in our relationship as a married couple.

As for our financial successes, we are fortunate to have had many in 2010. Those successes include paying off our minivan and saving enough money to install a gas stove in our home. The latter was possible as a result of reigning in our food budget and funneling the money we saved to help us reach our goal.

We also fulfilled a promise to our children and brought home three fluffy chicks last spring; those same chicks are now roosting in the coop that my husband and his father built. Our hens are also finally giving us a few eggs, which has been cause for much excitement around our house.

As for our missteps, these include making a small tactical error during a construction project and ending up $800 over budget, waiting until the last minute to do our Christmas shopping (which meant major budget strain this year), overspending on food some months, and failing to rethink our retirement account contributions. And though we were able to complete a number of projects around our house, we had to dip deeply into our savings account to do so. This means that we need to focus on rebuilding our account in the coming year.

By recognizing what we did well and what we’d like to improve on, we’ll be more prepared to set realistic goals for 2011.

What went well for you this year? What areas of your life could use improvement? In any season of life, taking a simple inventory could help you focus your time and resources on the things you really want to accomplish. I’d encourage you to pause in the busyness of this season, and in your life as a whole, to look back at 2010 and use what you learn to chart a course for the year to come.

Comfort on the go makes traveling easier

I often joke that the key to parenting four young children is to always have food. A stick of gum or a piece of candy works wonders in the grocery store. A sucker is a little bit of magic when we’re on the homestretch of a long trip. A few crackers can stall before-lunch anarchy.

In other words, small comforts, made possible with just a little bit of planning, can make life easier, and generally more pleasant, for our busy family. Our wee ones are less apt to melt down, and we do a better job of keeping our budget intact when we’re prepared for outings. This is true whether we’re heading out for a day of running errands, or taking a trip across the state, such as the one we’re planning this holiday.

No matter what your personal situation, you’ll be better prepared to deal with the stress of holiday travel when you plan ahead. You’ll also save money when you take time to make some relatively small travel preparations. After all, who hasn’t been so desperate in an airport that you resort to eating a $6 pretzel, or been so famished that convenience store beef sticks, packaged alongside unrefrigerated cheese, suddenly look appealing?

While it’s impossible to account for every possible travel glitch—lost luggage or sketchy roads, for example—you can be ready to deal with two inevitable aspects of traveling: hunger and boredom. We’re able to deal with the former by picking up special food items in the days leading up to our trip. These include treats like juice boxes and crazy-long licorice ropes.

Just the sheer anticipation of something out of the ordinary helps our children deal with the seemingly endless prairie stretched out before us. And though the idea of a foot of licorice may not be appealing to you, you can plan for your own kind of travel indulgences.

For road travel, for example, you could brew your favorite coffee at home and take it along in an insulated Thermos. Or you can buy yourself candy you love, or pack your own boxed meal for an airline flight. Make homemade granola or simply stock up on your favorite energy bars. With preparations such as these, you’ll make a small upfront investment, but you’ll save money and feel more satisfied in the long run.

As for dealing with travel boredom, we have our own specialized coping mechanisms. Namely, these include new or favorite books and CDs, stickers, and pocket-size notebooks and crayons. When the situation gets really desperate, we break out press-on tattoos and the aforementioned suckers. We’ve even been known to stop at a park and brave subzero temperatures, just as a way to get everybody out of the car and break up the trip.

Again, press-on tattoos and wintery romps in the park probably won’t suit you, but getting a free download for your digital reader or checking out books or back issues of a magazine from the library could be an appropriate (and budget-friendly) substitute. An audio version of a book is yet another way you can pass the time during your travels – especially if the plot is a thriller guaranteed to keep you alert during long hours of driving. Or you could even write a few handwritten notes or finish a knitting or embroidery project, if these kinds of pursuits interest you.

Amid the busyness of the season, take time to pack a few comforts to pamper yourself and your family. A little planning goes a long way toward making us calmer and happier during stressful holiday travels.