Anticipating the pleasure ahead adds richness to life

If you were to stop by my house about 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning, you would find me standing at the counter in my kitchen. I’d probably still be sporting pajamas and may very likely be dotted with flour. Our children would be intermittently darting in and out of the room as I rolled out a sticky rectangle of dough. I’d have offers to stir the filling, and I’d be fielding arguments about who got to make the frosting last time.


“Saturday morning cinnamon rolls,” as they’ve come to be called at our house, mark the end of our week. Making these rolls is a simple ritual, but one that is already deeply rooted in my family’s story. It’s what we do together on Saturdays, a tradition that gives us something to anticipate.


As parents, we want to help our children anticipate good things, to celebrate the pleasure of looking forward to moments we have planned. Fortunately, young children don’t need a lot of prompting to relish the excitement of good things to come. At our house, it’s just a simple, “Do you know what tomorrow is?” reminder when we put them to bed on Friday. They squirm and chatter about cinnamon rolls as we close their doors for the night.


The notion of Saturday morning cinnamon rolls may not be squirm-worthy to you, but there is a great deal of value in learning (or rather relearning) the art of anticipation. Anticipation can fuel hope and become a counterpoint to the general busyness, and the sometimes mundane moments, of daily life. Anticipation lets you relish the best of what is to come, and it is a worthy defense against expectation.


Unlike anticipation, expectation tends to leave you disappointed. You don’t have to be an adult long to realize how often circumstances don’t turn out as you might have planned. It happens virtually every day, in things big and small: Your offer on a house is turned down, you get overlooked for a promotion or you don’t get the birthday gift you asked for. And when you’ve expected a certain result that doesn’t work out, you can easily feel deflated, even angry.


Disappointments are a natural part of life, but you can have fewer of them when you learn to shift your focus from expectation to anticipation. You can start doing this by giving yourself more good things to anticipate.


In other words, deliberately plan – and then do – things that will boost your happiness, either as one-time events or ongoing rituals. Organize a picnic with your friends or family. Meet a friend for coffee, visit your favorite bookstore or antique shop, go fishing or start a weekend breakfast tradition, such as freshly brewed coffee and blueberry scones on the porch.


You can also look for intentional ways to savor good things to come. Get a small notebook, or even a small piece of scratch paper. Write today’s date on it and write down something you’re looking forward to today. Next, ask yourself what you are looking forward to tomorrow, next week and next month. The very act of chronicling the things you’re anticipating will help you enjoy those experiences even more.


As for me, I’m looking forward to digging in the dirt when I get home today. Tomorrow, I’m anxious to make headway on a major project at work. Next week, I’m anticipating some of the first fresh greens from the garden. And next month, I’m looking forward to taking a weekend family vacation.


What about you? What good things are you anticipating in the days to come?

Traveling light saves money, hassle and stress

The last time I was on an airplane, I was traveling with three small children, which necessitated bringing two umbrella strollers, three car seats, and a suitcase full of things like onesies, bibs, sippy cups, diaper rash cream and baby spoons. By the time we reached our destination, I felt like a beleaguered pack mule.

On my upcoming vacation, I’m planning on a much more relaxing flight (reading or watching an in-flight movie, instead of passing out stickers and lollipops for three hours) and I’m only packing what fits in a single carry-on.

I’m getting ready for the first vacation my husband and I have taken alone in nine years. The last thing I want is to be bogged down with too much stuff. By packing light, I won’t be subject to airline baggage fees ($25 per checked item), and I can bypass the check-in counter and the baggage claim carousel, saving myself extra time and hassle. Plus, I’ll be certain to arrive at my destination with my luggage in tow—no lost or delayed bags.

What’s more, by limiting myself to a single carry-on, I will only be able to pack the essentials. This means I won’t be lugging around dead weight (like three extra pairs of shoes), and I won’t need the assistance of a skycap or a bell hop (and therefore I won’t need extra cash for tipping).

While there are plenty of reasons to pack light, it does require extra thought and planning. Travel experts assert that one of the reasons many people overpack is because they fear the unknown. These unknowns become “what ifs.” And ultimately, those “what ifs” result in travelers bringing too much stuff—the proverbial “bringing everything but the kitchen sink.”

Travel often comes with a few hiccups, but minimizing the unknown is one way to help you travel light. To prepare for our upcoming trip, I first got a handle on the type of weather we can expect, and I downloaded a few sample packing lists from fellow travelers. This general information will help me get a more specific idea what I should, or shouldn’t, bring.

I’ve also made sure to review the Transportation Security Administration’s rules on what I can pack in my carry-on, specifically as it relates to liquid and gel limitations. Accordingly, I stocked up on 3-ounce travel bottles and bought trial-size versions of products I commonly use. Having to replace an oversized item that gets confiscated, such as a pricey facial cleanser, could end up being more expensive than simply checking a bag in the first place.

Learning the airline’s carry-on size limitations is another way to minimize unexpected expenses. If it turned out that my bag didn’t meet the airline’s requirements, I would be required to check it and pay a higher fee than if I had prepaid the baggage fee.

Finally, I plan to use a few savvy packing strategies. One of these strategies will be to pack clothing in two colors; I’ll be able to wear those items interchangeably and create several outfits from just a few key pieces. And since the weather is likely to be very warm when we arrive at our destination, I’ll pack light, wrinkle-free separates, because the last thing I want to do on vacation is be uncomfortable (or have to iron).

With a little advance planning, you can pack a small suitcase that holds everything you need—and nothing more. In the process, you’ll save money and will be able to focus on the most important aspect of a vacation, which is to simply relax.

Investing your time, creativity can build richer relationships

Of our four children, one is particularly “spirited,” which is another way of saying that the boy is an expert at sniffing out trouble. Just yesterday, he was happily occupied with a small, battery-operated vacuum cleaner. When I looked away for a moment, he decided to take the brush attachment from the vacuum I was using, dip it into the toilet, and “help me” by “scrubbing” the floor.

Moments like these often leave me frazzled and worn out, a familiar state for virtually anyone in the trenches of parenthood. This is true whether you’re tending to a newborn, chasing a toddler, running a tween to baseball practice or dealing with teenage angst.

In the midst of the chaos and the fatigue, the busyness and the routines, my husband and I have learned how difficult it can be to connect with our children in deep and meaningful ways. But we have also learned that, above all else, connectedness is what we want and what our children need.

Still, connectedness doesn’t always come naturally for us; honestly, we’ve found that it can be easier to divert or distract our children than to connect with them. In our home, movies often end up being our go-to diversion. Television, video games, the Internet, cell phone apps, a barrage of extracurricular activities, or buying new material possessions can just as easily serve as distractions and time fillers that keep us from building the relationships we really want.

Although diversions do give us an occasional break from the demands of parenthood, my husband and I want to invest in the relationship we have with our children. We try to do this by spending our time and our money in ways that enrich our family.

We often spend time together on simple activities. We pull out board games, do artwork at the dining room table together, include our children in meal preparation (as painful as it might be to wait for a 6-year-old to finish peeling three carrots), and try to engage in the things they love. We drive Matchbox cars and sword fight, sip water from tiny tea cups and swaddle dolls.

In the evenings when we’re all home together, we gather in the living room to read. One of the tangible investments we’ve made in our children is a library of beautiful and engaging books. We’ve received some as gifts; the others we’ve picked up at rummage sales and secondhand stores for a dollar or less.

We prefer investing our money in books and playthings that encourage our children to use their time creatively – and that sometimes allow us to jump in and play with them. We like simple, low-tech items such as new cookie cutters that can be play dough tools, wooden bowls for their little kitchen, thrifted dress-up clothes or paint sets and sketchbooks.

Finding ways to connect with older children can be challenging, but it is just as essential. Start by committing to 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with them. Resist the urge to send a quick text message, answer the phone, send an e-mail, or start dinner. Challenge your children, too, to take a break from their electronic devices to spend time with you.

Being wholly present may take some practice and effort, but investing in your children, regardless of their age, has rich rewards.

One simple change can make life, money management easier

In a house with four children, I can easily become besieged by laundry. It mounts quickly, but takes hours to tackle all the tiny socks and spaghetti-stained t-shirts. On any given day, there is a load of laundry sitting somewhere, waiting to be stain-treated, washed, dried, folded, or put away.

Laundry isn’t complicated (unless you end up drying a piece of wayward gum, which has been known to happen at my house), but it is a process that can be overwhelming. That’s why I decided to remove the hampers from my children’s rooms and set up a canvas cart with three separate bins.My children now drop off their dirty clothes in a centralized location, where it immediately gets sorted by color. When one bin gets full, I can do laundry without having to walk all over the house dumping out hampers and sorting clothing.

My experience with the laundry cart reminds me how valuable one small change can be. Though I’ll never be free of laundry, I have found a way to streamline the task. In the same way, you will always have to deal with money, no matter how much or little you have. Too often, people get overwhelmed by the idea of getting their finances under control. When they don’t know what to do first, they often end up doing nothing.

You can learn to manage your money effectively by making one small change at a time. Start by asking yourself, “What isn’t working well?” For example, do you have a habit of paying bills late and ending up with late fees? Do you scramble when the holidays approach, then overspend on your gift purchases? Do you eat out more often than you would like?

Once you identify one area you would like to improve, then you can consider a simple solution. Suppose you want to stop paying your bills late. Start by putting your bills in one place and setting aside one or two specific days every month to pay them. If necessary, set up e-mail reminders or ask a trusted friend to keep you accountable.

If you want to build an emergency fund, set a relatively small goal--$500 to $1,000—and sign up for an automatic payroll deduction. You’ll never miss what you don’t see, and you’ll be encouraged when your savings balance grows each month.

If you want to spend less eating out, pack your lunch the night before. You can also stock your desk or work area with hearty, non-perishable foods such as trail mix, dehydrated soup mixes, granola bars, juice boxes, beef jerky or almonds. In a pinch, you can eat what you have on hand, and you won’t be tempted to dash out and buy something instead.


Planning ahead can help you rely less on convenience foods, too. You could cook and freeze several meals for later. My husband’s thrifty 89-year-old grandmother does this, creating complete, individual meals for herself. Even learning how to cook one or two new dishes can help you to spend less on expensive, ready-made food.

Advance planning also can help you avoid the last-minute holiday crush. If you can’t avoid it this year, start fresh in January. Make a gift list at the beginning of the year. Then, commit to making or buying just one gift a month; come next December, you—and your budget—won’t be stressed.

Ultimately, you’re in the best position to decide what solutions will work for you. Starting small will let you build on your success, allowing you to get your finances under control one simple change at a time.

Share the cooking and the fun for a simple, affordable party

I have a large sign that reads “Keep it Simple” hanging above my kitchen door. More than kitschy art, it is a valuable reminder for me, a woman who has a history of making things far more complicated than they need to be. This is particularly the case when it comes to entertaining.

Even in college, I made elaborate meals for my friends. One year, I made a honey-glazed smoked turkey studded with golden pecans, a sweet potato soufflé, and bourbon cream pumpkin cheesecake. The fact that I remember precisely what I made for Thanksgiving 15 years ago speaks volumes about my sometimes over-the-top entertaining personality. (I also remember my horror when one of my guests literally flicked all my perfectly-placed pecans off the turkey before he started carving it.)

I probably spent more than a week’s wages and hours of prep time on that meal. While I may not be serving pecan-studded smoked turkeys these days with my four children underfoot, there are plenty of ways I can entertain without being tied to my kitchen or busting our already-slim food budget. These ideas for entertaining can satisfy my desire to be among friends, while helping me live up to my “keep it simple” mantra.

Revive the Progressive Dinner. This is a fabulous way of hosting a party. You get all the benefits of a true dinner party with fraction of the work and expense. Round up enough friends willing to host part of a meal at their home—drinks and appetizers to start, followed by salad at another home, a main course at a third location, and top the evening off with dessert at the last home.

Host a Punched-Up Potluck. Determine an international theme—Mexican, French, Chinese—and encourage guests to bring dishes reflecting that country’s cuisine. Or draw on a favorite film to create a memorable evening: all things chocolate for “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” bruschetta, artichokes in Hollandaise sauce, and chocolate cream pie for watching “Julie and Julia,” a green salad, a variety of cheeses, fresh fruit, and champagne to mimic the fare in “Babette’s Feast.” Screen the theme-inspiring film after dinner.

Set up a Buffet. Elevate simple, well-liked foods—such as baked potatoes, pizza, pancakes, hot dogs, ice cream, omelets, or tacos—by asking guests to bring complimentary toppings. Chili, caramelized onions, sauerkraut, an assortment of mustards, shredded cheese, tomato wedges, pickle spears, chutney, and spaghetti sauce are all options to round out a hot dog buffet, for example. To ensure a wide variety, you may want to assign a specific topping to each guest.

Plan an Activity. Serve satisfying one-dish meals appropriate for the season: baked macaroni and cheese or potato soup are perfect for a fall or winter soiree, for instance. Then plan an activity to get guests engaged with one another. Try pumpkin carving, setting up a game of lawn darts or bocce ball, roasting marshmallows in the backyard fire pit, playing board games, or showing an outdoor movie, using a projector and a large, white sheet.

Hosting a potluck-style party gives you a chance to indulge your love of entertaining and also gives your guests a chance to shine. Encourage them to bring the dishes they especially enjoy preparing. Ask one friend to make her famous salsa as an appetizer, for instance, and another to bake his luscious brownies for dessert.

These budget-friendly parties are simple to host because most of the preparation can be done in advance. That leaves you more time to relax and enjoy your guests – and, simple or fancy, that’s the point of a great party.