Resolve, and a plan, are keys to achieving your goals

I would never want to underestimate the power of resolve, that state of mind where tenacity and firm determination help you accomplish something difficult or out of the ordinary. I would say I had resolve, for example, when I earned my college degree – and paid for my education myself. But I have to admit that I wouldn’t consider myself a resolute person.

That’s one reason I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Another reason is that resolutions usually don’t lead to the success you hoped for. A resolution presumes you can change things in your life just by making the decision to do so. On the contrary, true and lasting change is most often the result of making a commitment, followed by series of deliberate choices.

Though resolutions can help you to identify areas of your life that you would like to improve, such as your health, your relationships, or your finances, they can’t give you any concrete measure of success along the way. This is largely because resolutions are typically expressed in broad, shapeless statements, such as, “I will enjoy life more this year.” Or “This will be the year I finally get my finances under control.”

Without a clear picture of what it means to enjoy life more or have your finances under control, you’ll likely abandon your resolutions. As a result, you’ll end up feeling discouraged—even powerless—to affect change in your life.

Thankfully, there is a more effective way to accomplish what you want to do in 2011. By setting goals, instead of making resolutions, you’ll be able to create a more realistic, successful plan for the year to come. Goal setting will let you take the statement, “I will enjoy life more this year” and turn it into a series of measurable steps.

To begin, you need to ask yourself this basic question: What will I need to do in order to enjoy my life more? Do you need to work less, carve out more time for hobbies, or reduce your debt? Will being better organized or cooking more meals at home help you reduce stress and improve your life? Or, will starting an exercise plan move you closer to the life you desire?

Next, you can set attainable goals. If you want more time to enjoy a favorite hobby, for example, what else are you willing to give up? If you want to devote more time to writing, you may need to get up a few minutes earlier, spend less time online, or commit to writing during your lunch hour. Your goal, then, might be something like this: I will get up early three days a week and write for at least 30 minutes.

With this goal, you’ll know if you’re making progress. You’ll also recognize when your plan isn’t working. If you end up hitting the snooze button four times, rather than getting up to write, you may want to adjust your goal and write for 20 minutes in the evening.

You can apply the same methods to other types of goals, as well. If you want to pay down your debt this year, determine how much you can realistically afford to repay. Then, consider ways you can reach your goal; taking a part-time job, selling an asset, or redirecting money you normally would have spent on eating out are all possible options.

Setting a goal as we start a new year is a worthy task. If you map out small steps to achieve your goal and resolve to stick with them, you can change your finances, or your life, for the better.

A family mission statement will help us shape our future

When my husband and I recently took a small “life inventory,” we reflected on what went well during 2010. We also began identifying areas in our lives that we wanted to improve. For example, we acknowledged that we want to spend less time on the computer and more time engaging in focused activities that improve our relationship with each other and with our children.

In order to use what we learned from our “life inventory” and to define a clearer vision for our family, we decided to write a family mission statement. On a practical level, our statement will become a decision-making tool that helps us learn when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” More than that, it will define the kind of family we want to be.

To get started, my husband and I each answered a list of 20 questions that helped us to define our strengths, our priorities, and our desires for our family’s future. (Such lists are easily accessed online with a quick search using the words “family mission statement.”) The list included questions such as “What is the purpose of our family?” “What would we like people to say about our family as a whole 10 years from now?” “What is one way we are unique as a family?” “If our family could be filled with one emotion, what would it be?”

Working through the questions took a significant amount of time, particularly when we had to define what we want our lives to look like in the future. It forced us to think about how our lives will be different with a house full of teenagers, instead of one filled with preschoolers and toddlers. At one point, my husband paused and said, “This is hard. I keep realizing that I’m writing down one thing and that I’m living in an entirely different way.” I felt much the same way; writing down what I wanted made me think about the disconnect between how things are and how I want them to be.

Next, my husband and I shared our answers with one another. On the plus side, we immediately began to see some common themes emerge. For instance, we each defined similar strengths for ourselves and for each other. We also had similar answers to questions about how we want people to describe our home environment and the top four priorities we want our family to value.

Unfortunately, there was a downside, too. As we started talking more in-depth about our answers, our emotions flared up. The questions themselves were deeply personal, and we both felt fiercely attached to our responses, even a little vulnerable. We agreed that we wanted to let our emotions mellow a bit for now; we’ll return to the process of writing our family mission statement in January.

When we’re ready to begin again, our next step will be to take what we learned about each other and ourselves to shape a comprehensive statement about how we want to spend our time and our money. We’ll revisit the common themes that emerged, and we’ll start to write a mission statement that reflects who we are and who we want to be as a family.

At any stage of life, a mission statement can help you focus on what you really want. If, as you start a new year, you’re feeling like life isn’t what you want it to be, consider creating a mission statement for yourself or your family. It requires an investment of time and emotion, but the result could help you positively reshape your life and your family for years to come.

A simple life inventory can help you live well in 2011

Some time ago, we dubbed life in our busy household “blissful chaos,” with emphasis on the “chaos.” It’s sometimes so chaotic, in fact, that my husband and I can do nothing more than laugh and fall into bed at night, exhausted. In the midst of all the busyness, it can be tough to move beyond what often feels like a series of small crises (like having to fish a Matchbox car out of the toilet or a pebble from someone’s nose).

Even as our children get older, we’ll trade one kind of busyness for another. We’ll swap diapers and toddler beds for things like dance classes and T-ball. We recognize that the pace of our lives isn’t likely to slow down.

Nevertheless, we agree that we don’t want to get swept up in busyness for its own sake. Instead, we want to know that we’re using our time and money with purpose and intention. That’s why we decided to take a small “life inventory” of 2010, asking ourselves questions that include, “What specific activities brought us the most and least joy this year?” “What were our greatest financial successes and missteps?”

Focusing our time with our summer activity list helped us to squeeze in lots of simple pleasures that we might not have otherwise experienced. We flew kites and had a squirt gun fight, roasted marshmallows in our backyard fire pit and built sandcastles. On the other hand, my husband and I both agree that we spent far too much time on the computer this year and wasted precious energy trying to keep the house picked up during the day when we’re home with the kids. On both accounts, we’d rather be investing in the lives of our children and in our relationship as a married couple.

As for our financial successes, we are fortunate to have had many in 2010. Those successes include paying off our minivan and saving enough money to install a gas stove in our home. The latter was possible as a result of reigning in our food budget and funneling the money we saved to help us reach our goal.

We also fulfilled a promise to our children and brought home three fluffy chicks last spring; those same chicks are now roosting in the coop that my husband and his father built. Our hens are also finally giving us a few eggs, which has been cause for much excitement around our house.

As for our missteps, these include making a small tactical error during a construction project and ending up $800 over budget, waiting until the last minute to do our Christmas shopping (which meant major budget strain this year), overspending on food some months, and failing to rethink our retirement account contributions. And though we were able to complete a number of projects around our house, we had to dip deeply into our savings account to do so. This means that we need to focus on rebuilding our account in the coming year.

By recognizing what we did well and what we’d like to improve on, we’ll be more prepared to set realistic goals for 2011.

What went well for you this year? What areas of your life could use improvement? In any season of life, taking a simple inventory could help you focus your time and resources on the things you really want to accomplish. I’d encourage you to pause in the busyness of this season, and in your life as a whole, to look back at 2010 and use what you learn to chart a course for the year to come.

Comfort on the go makes traveling easier

I often joke that the key to parenting four young children is to always have food. A stick of gum or a piece of candy works wonders in the grocery store. A sucker is a little bit of magic when we’re on the homestretch of a long trip. A few crackers can stall before-lunch anarchy.

In other words, small comforts, made possible with just a little bit of planning, can make life easier, and generally more pleasant, for our busy family. Our wee ones are less apt to melt down, and we do a better job of keeping our budget intact when we’re prepared for outings. This is true whether we’re heading out for a day of running errands, or taking a trip across the state, such as the one we’re planning this holiday.

No matter what your personal situation, you’ll be better prepared to deal with the stress of holiday travel when you plan ahead. You’ll also save money when you take time to make some relatively small travel preparations. After all, who hasn’t been so desperate in an airport that you resort to eating a $6 pretzel, or been so famished that convenience store beef sticks, packaged alongside unrefrigerated cheese, suddenly look appealing?

While it’s impossible to account for every possible travel glitch—lost luggage or sketchy roads, for example—you can be ready to deal with two inevitable aspects of traveling: hunger and boredom. We’re able to deal with the former by picking up special food items in the days leading up to our trip. These include treats like juice boxes and crazy-long licorice ropes.

Just the sheer anticipation of something out of the ordinary helps our children deal with the seemingly endless prairie stretched out before us. And though the idea of a foot of licorice may not be appealing to you, you can plan for your own kind of travel indulgences.

For road travel, for example, you could brew your favorite coffee at home and take it along in an insulated Thermos. Or you can buy yourself candy you love, or pack your own boxed meal for an airline flight. Make homemade granola or simply stock up on your favorite energy bars. With preparations such as these, you’ll make a small upfront investment, but you’ll save money and feel more satisfied in the long run.

As for dealing with travel boredom, we have our own specialized coping mechanisms. Namely, these include new or favorite books and CDs, stickers, and pocket-size notebooks and crayons. When the situation gets really desperate, we break out press-on tattoos and the aforementioned suckers. We’ve even been known to stop at a park and brave subzero temperatures, just as a way to get everybody out of the car and break up the trip.

Again, press-on tattoos and wintery romps in the park probably won’t suit you, but getting a free download for your digital reader or checking out books or back issues of a magazine from the library could be an appropriate (and budget-friendly) substitute. An audio version of a book is yet another way you can pass the time during your travels – especially if the plot is a thriller guaranteed to keep you alert during long hours of driving. Or you could even write a few handwritten notes or finish a knitting or embroidery project, if these kinds of pursuits interest you.

Amid the busyness of the season, take time to pack a few comforts to pamper yourself and your family. A little planning goes a long way toward making us calmer and happier during stressful holiday travels.

One simple change can make life, money management easier

In a house with four children, I can easily become besieged by laundry. It mounts quickly, but takes hours to tackle all the tiny socks and spaghetti-stained t-shirts. On any given day, there is a load of laundry sitting somewhere, waiting to be stain-treated, washed, dried, folded, or put away.

Laundry isn’t complicated (unless you end up drying a piece of wayward gum, which has been known to happen at my house), but it is a process that can be overwhelming. That’s why I decided to remove the hampers from my children’s rooms and set up a canvas cart with three separate bins.My children now drop off their dirty clothes in a centralized location, where it immediately gets sorted by color. When one bin gets full, I can do laundry without having to walk all over the house dumping out hampers and sorting clothing.

My experience with the laundry cart reminds me how valuable one small change can be. Though I’ll never be free of laundry, I have found a way to streamline the task. In the same way, you will always have to deal with money, no matter how much or little you have. Too often, people get overwhelmed by the idea of getting their finances under control. When they don’t know what to do first, they often end up doing nothing.

You can learn to manage your money effectively by making one small change at a time. Start by asking yourself, “What isn’t working well?” For example, do you have a habit of paying bills late and ending up with late fees? Do you scramble when the holidays approach, then overspend on your gift purchases? Do you eat out more often than you would like?

Once you identify one area you would like to improve, then you can consider a simple solution. Suppose you want to stop paying your bills late. Start by putting your bills in one place and setting aside one or two specific days every month to pay them. If necessary, set up e-mail reminders or ask a trusted friend to keep you accountable.

If you want to build an emergency fund, set a relatively small goal--$500 to $1,000—and sign up for an automatic payroll deduction. You’ll never miss what you don’t see, and you’ll be encouraged when your savings balance grows each month.

If you want to spend less eating out, pack your lunch the night before. You can also stock your desk or work area with hearty, non-perishable foods such as trail mix, dehydrated soup mixes, granola bars, juice boxes, beef jerky or almonds. In a pinch, you can eat what you have on hand, and you won’t be tempted to dash out and buy something instead.


Planning ahead can help you rely less on convenience foods, too. You could cook and freeze several meals for later. My husband’s thrifty 89-year-old grandmother does this, creating complete, individual meals for herself. Even learning how to cook one or two new dishes can help you to spend less on expensive, ready-made food.

Advance planning also can help you avoid the last-minute holiday crush. If you can’t avoid it this year, start fresh in January. Make a gift list at the beginning of the year. Then, commit to making or buying just one gift a month; come next December, you—and your budget—won’t be stressed.

Ultimately, you’re in the best position to decide what solutions will work for you. Starting small will let you build on your success, allowing you to get your finances under control one simple change at a time.